Monday, November 17, 2008

One Year


She would have been 1 today. I'm not sure what to write. Its a tough day for us, but perhaps not as bad as we feared. Surely, there have been and will be tears; but while our hearts ache I think I can also say that I experience some measure of "peace that passes understanding". I've never been "Pollyannaish" about suffering and redemption, I read the bible too much to believe trite sentiments. Sometimes life really sucks. Still, sometimes grace gives you the strength to suffer today in order to see hope tomorrow. We love her and miss her so much, and today is yet another milestone robbed from us by the enemy. But we honor her short life by continuing to live ours. We spent some time away this weekend, just Nicole and I to be by ourselves and to escape. It was nice. We carry grief in our hearts, but also some joy at the privilige to have known and cared for her. We are also glad for the many kind words shared with us already as we face these painful anniversaries. Happy Birthday, Evie.

Children's Heartlink.

6 comments:

The Skagens said...

Hi Matt and Nicole,

I don't know you personally but I think you know my husband and we also have several friends in common (the Lyons, the Convers, the Larsens). I spent time last year praying for Evie when Rachael shared with our small group the health issues she was facing. I follwed your blog daily. I wept when I heard she went to be with the Lord. Though we have not met personally, your story has touched me deeply. I wanted to let you know that I am thinking of you and praying for you both on this day--praying that you feel God's close presence, love, and comfort as you celebrate the joy of knowing and loving your precious Evie and grieve the loss of your child. I admire the way you have shared your journey with honesty, strength, and faith. Thank you for letting me have a glimpse of your sweet daughter's life and story. I love the picture you posted today. She is absolutely beautiful.

Warmly-
Sarah Skagen

Anonymous said...

Matt and Nicole,

Just know that I have been thinking of you and of Evie all day today. We share your grief.

I am glad you got a chance to get away this past weekend to Milwaukee.

Our prayers are with you always.

Love, Mom G.

Ingrid said...

I admire the courage and grace that both of you have shown throughout this ordeal. Peace to Evie's memory.

(I'm finally getting around to updating my blog links and adding you - long overdue.)

Anonymous said...

I thought of you all yesterday and said a prayer that you were at peace.

Anonymous said...

Matt & Nicole,

I'm glad you put up the post about Evie's birthday. I chose not to work Monday and just stay at home and be quiet, remember, and pray. It's hard not to think about the "if only's". I thought about you both so much and the joy you shared one year ago and how happy all the grandparents were...sweet Evie will always be in our hearts. I'm so glad we all share the hope and the promise of being reunited with her again. We love you, Paul & Norma

happychipmunk said...

So glad you posted. This is late, but happy birthday, evie. love that you said you read the Bible too much to believe trite statements! :) Thank God that God wrote about so much hard stuff in life and didn't gloss things over like the rest of us like to. Glad to hear you were intentional about taking care of yourselves on such a difficult anniversary. Love from Belgium, Johnna.