Monday, March 10, 2008

What a difference a year makes

Today marks 3 months since Evie died. That really isn't very long, but yet it feels like ages since I was still holding out hope for her. All the while I realized that she may not make it, but I knew that if she did I would throw her the biggest party after she came home so everyone who cared and prayed for her could finally meet her. Sometimes I just can't believe that I'm not planning that party.

This past weekend also marked one year since Matt and I found out I was pregnant. Realizing the significance of this made me reflect on the past 12 months and all that I've experienced. The standout moments (no surprise) are Evie's birth and death. Though her death is the most devastating event in my life, her birth is still the most important--her death does not overshadow it in my memory and I am so thankful for that. Sometimes I feel like I've lost everything, but the truth is nothing can take that amazing day away from me and it will always be mine. I guess I find it kind of strange that the worst year of my life also contains the greatest day.

Her very first birthday photo (it's not an easy feat to be cute from the very beginning, but I think she accomplished it like a natural) :

No comments: